The Lighter Side

Courtesy of Getaway Magazine Blog

Tourist guides to South Africa: they’re everywhere. In airports, bookstores and curio shops next to those big wooden giraffes.

With so many of them around (guide books and wooden giraffes), you would think that all the important “˜need to know’ information would be covered. Apparently not. With the help of owe got into the minds of our visitors and found out that they really still do ask some of the most ridiculous questions:

On Africa’s wildlife
“˜Do whales always give birth in the water?’ Asked by an American tourist, whilst looking at the whales at Gansbaai - Erlo Brown

‘What do I do if I get bitten by a lion?’ Chinese tourist overheard on safari at Tsavo – Chloe Stoodley

“˜Do giraffes hunt in packs?’ – Jeannie Celeste Kenney

“˜What do you feed the whales? When do you feed them? How do you keep them in the bay? Why don’t they jump out of the water today? Will they come closer if you call them?’ Asked by American tourists in Gansbaai on the Cape Whale Coast – Sanchia Chivell

“˜What species of dog is a lion?’ – Nicola Leach

“˜Are there lions in the street in South Africa?’ – Christel Marais

“˜Is the hyena related to the brown bear?’ Asked by an American tourist while visiting Moholoholo near Hoedspruit – Eileen Bailie

“˜What time can we expect the lions to roar?’ American tourists overheard at Pilansberg – Lynton Lewis

“˜Now I know why giraffes are so tall, so they can hunt monkeys in trees.’ Asked by a guest after seeing a giraffe chewing on a bone – Bush Willem Gouws

“˜What time do they feed the whales?’ asked by a tourist in Hermanus. – Vanessa Alberts

“˜You should catch the monkeys and teach them to eat with a knife and fork and sit at the table with us, so they can entertain us’ – Bush Willem Gouws

“˜At what time do they round up the animals and lock them in the cages for the night?’ asked by a German tourist in Etosha – Tina Schilling

“˜Where do rhinos lay their eggs?’ asked by a Japanese traveler - ThombeSAFARI

On buying things in South Africa
“˜Can you buy material in South Africa?’ - Caroline Pols-Dijkstra

“˜Will I have enough clothes in Cape Town?’ – Jeannie Celeste Kenney

“˜Are there any ATMs in South Africa?’ – Jacques Coetzee

“˜Why can’t I claim back VAT at CT International Airport for goods I bought in Nairobi. It’s also in Africa isn’t it?’ Asked by an American tourist – Brian Aldridge

On family
“˜Do you know my Uncle/Aunt/Cousin, they live in Cape Town/Durban/Johannesburg/Pretoria?’ – Maxine Carli

“˜We know somebody who lives in Nairobi, do you know them?’ asked by an American after discovering thatGary Loney was South African.

On South Africa’s public service
“˜Did you guys receive the maize meal we sent over?’ An American pastor asked Ashley Davis while she was working at an American Airlines call centre at the Waterfront.

On a business trip previously to USA we were asked, “˜Do you have internet? Do you have electricity or do you generate your own power? Are you cannibals?’ – Cara Laubscher

“˜Do you have running water in SA?’ - Sue Walker

After Jacques Nadia Strydom explained to an American colleague that Africa is actually a continent having many countries, like South America, he said, “˜OK, but in which country is the government then?’

“˜Was Nelson Mandela a good president in Australia?’ Asked by a market vendor in Phuket, Thailand - Janice Thaysen

On landscape management
“˜What time do they turn the Howick Falls off?’ Asked by a German tourist in the Kwazulu-Natal Midlands - Nicci Eaglestone

“˜Why don’t they clean up the park by picking up the elephant dung?’ Asked by a tourist on a trip to Addo Eliphant Park – Christel Marais

“˜Why is it raining?’ - Saskia Bok

“˜Which highway did you take to get from South Africa to the United States?’ An American tourist asked Jasmin Nagel while she was in San Diego.

“˜Why is everyone driving on the wrong side of the road?’ – Saskia Bok

“˜How long to plant garden?’ Asked by a Japanese tourist while driving through a nature reserve – San-Marie Jolliffe

“˜Which end is the deep end?’ Asked by two teenage tourists while standing in the shallow surf on Durban beachfront – Devin Smith

“˜Who cuts the grass in the Kruger Park?’ – Jessy Lipperts

“˜Who planted all the trees?’ An Italian tourist enquired while on a game drive in the Kruger – John Adamson

“˜Is this the same moon we get back in the states?’ – ThombeSAFARI

“˜So, like, if it’s day time in Cape Town, is it night time at Phinda (on the KZN north coast)?’ – Marnie Steffny

On South Africa’s food
In the middle of the Malawian bush whilst overlanding, one tourist squeeled, “˜Take me to the nearest Deli!’ Luckily for her there was one just around the next bush – Sonja Pienaar

“˜Do you hunt your own food back in South Africa?’ Carolyn Chelchinskey was asked by a local while drving through Cozumel, Mexico.

‘Where is the nearest McDonalds?’ Asked by an American (of course) tourist at Sesriem – Nakkiran Sunassee

On language in South Africa
“˜Do you speak African?’ – Zak Edgar

A British schoolgirl asked my young daughter, ‘What alphabet do you use in SA?’ – Gill Staniland

On South African culture
While in NZ, I was ‘told’ that at zebra crossings in SA white people have to walk on the white stripes and black people on the black stripes – Robyn Ambler

“˜Do you have vacuum cleaners in South Africa?’ Christel Marais was asked while au pairing in Holland. “˜No, we use elephant trunks!’ she said. “˜Oh!’